White coat. Heels.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
