i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You need a sexual gate keeper
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
