I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
