Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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