Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
