take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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