I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize