you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Couch. On fire.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
