I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
