Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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