In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
