you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
