i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
