...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
