I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
