i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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