Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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