worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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