He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
