Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
