a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
