Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
