break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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