I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
