I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
