i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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