Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
