Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
