dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
false alarm. still invincible.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
