I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
