Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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