If i come over, it means nothing
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
