You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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