I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
