Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
