It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
