Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
