Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
