i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
