I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
