That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
