he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
