By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Blood and glitter go together right?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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