I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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