I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
