All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The best revenge is premature balding
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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