i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
