I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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