ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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