i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
