Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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