So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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