does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
