Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
