wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
