This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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