I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
