I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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