after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
