youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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