I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
