So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
